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July 30, 2011

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How to Make a Vagina Cupcake | lenny

July 29, 2011

Couldn't sleep so edited Wikipedia:Nembutal (Popular Culture Section)

Couldn't sleep so edited Wikipedia: Nembutal [In popular culture](Section)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/83/Pentobarbital-2D-skeletal.png
{{inpopularculture|date=January 2011}}
[[Philip K. Dick]]'s novel [[VALIS]] opens with the sentence "''Horselover Fat's nervous breakdown began the day he got the phonecall from Gloria asking if he had any Nembutals''". The suicide attempt of Gloria with Nembutals borrowed from the main character is the starting point of the whole story.http://naderlibrary.com/dick.VALIS1.htm In the Science Fiction film [[Sphere (film)]], Nembutals are mentioned within the context of a suicide attempt that occurred prior to the start of the film by one of the movie's main characters. In the 1957 novel ''[[On the Beach (novel)|On the Beach]]'' by [[Nevil Shute]], the Australian government mass-distributes Nembutal in red cartons for voluntary euthanasia as radiation sickness spreads south in the final days of mankind following World War III.Nevil Shute, ''On the Beach'', New York, William Morrow and Company, 1957. (See p. 296 identifying the red cartons as Nembutal). In the 1960 novel ''[[The Moviegoer]]'' by [[Walker Percy]], Kate Cutrer takes Nembutals for her depression, causing her mother to worry about suicide when she takes four at once. Famous film Actor [[George Sanders]] (1906-1972) told fellow actor [[David Niven]] in 1937, that he intended to commit suicide when he got older. In 1972, he fulfilled his promise. He checked into a hotel in Barcelona and two days later, his body was discovered next to five empty tubes of Nembutal. He left this note: "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (source [[IMDB]]) In the 1979 album London Calling by the British punk/rock band The Clash the drug is mentioned in the line "Nembutal numbs it all, but I prefer Alcohol," referencing [[Montgomery Clift]] on the track, The Right Profile. Pentobarbital is referred in [[William S. Burroughs|William S. Burroughs's]] novel ''[[Junky (novel)|Junky]]'' as "Nembutal" "Nembies" and "Goofballs". In the semi-autobiographical novel, Burroughs uses it to relieve symptoms from [[heroin]] withdrawals. In the [[HBO]] show [[The Sopranos]], season 2 episode 12, [[Janice Soprano]] uses two Nembutals to sedate her mother, [[Livia Soprano]]. In the HBO show [[The Wire]], season 2 episode 10, [[Ziggy Sobotka]] references his mother's apparent abuse of Nembutal to "sleep the day away". In March 2010, the [[Public Broadcasting Service|PBS]] [[documentary film|documentary]] [[television series]] [[Frontline (U.S. TV series)|Frontline]] aired a documentary called "The Suicide Tourist" which told the story of Dr. Craig Ewert's trip to Switzerland in 2006 to commit assisted suicide (with the help of Dignitas) using Sodium Pentobarbital. He made the decision to euthanize himself shortly after he was diagnosed with [[Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis]]. A scene in the movie [[The Royal Tenenbaums]] features the line "Get me a Nembutal, would ya?," spoken by Royal, played by [[Gene Hackman]], after he collapses on the floor of a makeshift hospital room in his former mansion. An early scene in the HBO movie [[Gia]] shows Gia's modeling agent instructing her to take a Nembutal to calm her nerves before her first photo shoot. This may allude to Gia's future drug use, which caused her to contract AIDS and eventually die.

Couldn't sleep so edited Wikipedia: Nembutal [In popular culture](Section) {{inpopularculture|date=January 2011}} 's novel opens with the sentence "''Horselover Fat's nervous breakdown began the day he got the phonecall from Gloria asking if he had any Nembutals''". The suicide attempt of Gloria wit ...»See Ya

erickthor (reminds me of my favorite benton's)

nobenzo couch party

Definitive Penis Size Survey

LEASE THIS IMAGE

THE DEFINITIVE PENIS SIZE SURVEY

 PLEASE DESCRIBE THIS PENIS

For millennium, men the world over have been obsessed with penis size. Sly jokes, furtive glances in the locker room and wildly exaggerated claims of endowment convincingly suggest that "penis envy" is a decidedly male trait. Now, from the hinterland of Canada, a nerdy, pseudo-science minded individual invites you to participate in "The Definitive Penis Size Survey"

which boldly dares to address the following perplexing questions:

 PLEASE DESCRIBE THIS PENIS What precisely is "average" Penis Size?


 PLEASE DESCRIBE THIS PENIS can penis size be correlated with other attributes?
 PLEASE DESCRIBE THIS PENIS are men of certain ethnic/racial groups more endowed than others?
 PLEASE DESCRIBE THIS PENIS to what extent are men satisfied with their size?

The author humbly reminds one and all that in order to arrive at valid answers to the above questions, it will be necessary to assume that all participants are acting in good faith by providing accurate and precise data. Results of the survey will be posted and up-dated on a regular basis on the results page.

It is highly advisable that you tag this page with a bookmark, print out a hard copy, perform the various measurements required in Sections and and then return to enter and submit your data.

Without further ado let's begin "The Definitive Penis Size Survey"!

 LEASE HIS IMAGE
LEASE THIS IMAGE
responses@sizesurvey.com">

Improve-jelqing-results-using-pictures

SECTION A
Dogmeattreasurypro
Em2

1) Age

2) Weight (taken naked)

3) Height

4) Waist measurement

5) Marital status

single cohabiting
married divorced

6) Sexual orientation

straight
gay
bisexual

7) Country of residence

8) State or Province (for American and Canadian participants)

9) Ethnic background of parents and grandparents

In filling out the following table, please be as specific as possible. Specify for example, "German" instead of "Caucasian", "Chinese" instead of "Asian" etc. If you are Black, use the notation "Black (country)" (ex. Black (USA)). If you are uncertain about your ethnic origin, or if your lineage is highly mixed, simply enter your racial type (Caucasian, Asian or Black).

FATHER
PATERNAL GRANDFATHER
PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER
MOTHER
MATERNAL GRANDFATHER
MATERNAL GRANDMOTHER

10) At the time of my birth, my mother was years old and she had previously given birth to (enter number) children.

SECTION

Five of the following questions pertain to penis size and require the use of a tape measure. If you don't have a tape measure you can improvise by using a strip of paper and marking off the various measurements with a pencil and determining their values later with a ruler. Please follow the directions exactly and be as accurate as possible. If you use a vacuum pump or a similar device, please take all measurement in your natural state. For precision purposes, all measurements in this section are to be given in millimeters. For example a length of 3.2 centimeters should be expressed as 32 millimeters.

11) Length of flaccid penis. (This measurement is to be taken in a standing position when your penis is at its shortest size. The tape measure is to be placed at the base of your penis and the "outer surface" is to be measured from the base to the tip of the head. If you are uncircumcised, disregard any overhanging foreskin.)

The length of my flaccid penis in millimeters is

12) Length of stretched flaccid penis. While still flaccid, grasp the head of your penis between your thumb and index finger and stretch it to its point of maximum distention without causing pain. Without releasing your grip, measure the distance from the base to the tip of the head. If you are not sure about how to take this measurement, please refer to the illustration.

The length of my stretched flaccid penis in millimeters is

13) Length of erect penis. When you are at a maximum state of arousal, position your penis perpendicular to the rest of your body and measure the surface facing you if you are lying down or, if you are standing, the upper surface. Press your measuring device against your pubic bone and record the length from the base to the tip of your penis. If you are not sure about how to take this measurement, please refer to the illustration.

The length of my erect penis in millimeters is

14) Maximum length of head of penis when erect. Measure the length from the base of the head to the tip of the head at its longest point when erect. If you are not sure about how to take this measurement, please refer to the illustration.

The maximum length of the head of my erect penis in millimeters is

15) Maximum circumference of erect penis. (Please do not confuse circumference with diameter. Circumference can be defined as the distance around a circle.) Measure the circumference of your erect penis at the position of greatest girth. (If you are not sure about how to take this measurement, please refer to the illustration.)

The maximum circumference of my erect penis in millimeters is

16) Position of greatest girth.

base uniform
head other (indicate distance from base) millimeters

17) When erect, my penis is;

straight
straight but deviates to the left or right
bent

 

18) Circumcision status.

circumcised
uncircumcised

SECTION

The following questions will determine if there is any correlation between penis size and other bodily characteristics. As in Section all measurements are to be given in millimeters.

19) My shoe size is

20) My big toe is millimeters long.

21) My thumb (as measured from the palm surface from the tip of the thumb to the palmar crease) is millimeters long.

22) Bend your middle finger to your palm and mark the position of contact. Measure the distance between this mark and the tip of your middle finger in its normal, extended position. This distance is millimeters.

23) Measure the length of your nose by determining the distance between the bridge and tip. This distance is millimeters long.

24) Using a flexible measuring device such as a tape measure, strip of paper or a piece of string, measure the width of your nose as follows: Immediately after a normal exhalation and without flaring your nostrils, drape your measuring device over your nose at it's widest point (your device will be in the shape of an inverted ). Mark the spot where the nostril begins on each side of your nose, remove your device, straighten it and measure the distance between the two marks. This distance is millimeters.

25) My natural hair color is (If your hair is gray, please state your original color).

26) With respect to my natural, unshaven state, my chest is;

smooth
moderately hairy
very hairy

 

SECTION

This section will attempt to determine if there is a correlation between penis size and certain personality traits (I did mention that I'm pseudo-science minded didn't I?) In a certain sense the questions posed below are of a more personal nature than that of Section and if you are not comfortable about answering one or any of them, then don't (but only for this section please).

27) I am employed as a .

28) I tend to internalize my feelings. Yes No

29) I possess strong self-confidence. Yes No

30) I have a hot temper. Yes No

31) I have assaulted someone in the past year. Yes No

32) I consider myself to be more of a leader than a follower. Yes No

33) I am a risk taker. Yes No

34) I have a high sex drive. Yes No

35) Sexually, I am more active than passive. Yes No

36) Within the past year I have had different sexual partners.

37) On average, I have alcoholic drinks per week.

38) I enjoy participating in competitive sports. Yes No

39) I am a body builder. Yes No

SECTION

This section is intended to determine the accuracy by which men gauge penis size. You may use whichever unit of measurement you are most familiar with - either inches or millimeters. The correct lengths will be provided at a later date on the results page. I would like to take this opportunity to express my heartfelt thanks to the individuals who donated photos for this section. If you would like to be included, please read the instructions at the bottom of this page.

Penis I BET
SUBJECT A
Height: 1.96m (6'5")

40) I estimate that when erect, this subject's penis is long.

41) Compared to my own flaccid penis, this subject's penis is;

shorter
about the same size
longer

42) I consider this individual's endowment status to be;

modest
average
well endowed


 Penis CRIME SCRIMMAGE
SUBJECT
Height: 1.73m (5'8")

43) I estimate this subject's erect penis to be long.

44) Compared to my own erect penis, this subject's penis is;

shorter
about the same size
longer

45) I consider this individual's endowment status to be;

modest
average
well endowed

SECTION

The following questions have been designed to assess subjective beliefs and attitudes towards penis size.

46) I consider an average erect penis size to be long and in circumference.

47) I consider myself to be;

well endowed
averagely endowed
modestly endowed

48) I consider men of my ethnic group to be;

well endowed modestly endowed
averagely endowed no opinion

49) With respect to my size I am;

content
neutral
not content

50) With respect to my circumcision status I am;

content
neutral
not content

51) I avoid situations in which my penis may be exposed to public scrutiny (by using a stall instead of a urinal, avoiding saunas etc.). Yes No

52) I avoid situations in which my penis may be exposed to scrutiny by male members of my family. Yes No

53) When I encounter a man I perceive to be well endowed in a non-sexual setting (e.g. a public shower), my initial reaction is one of;

envy awe/admiration don't know (have never had this experience)
intimidation sexual arousal other (please specify)
inadequacy indifference  

54) I consider penis size to be;

very important not very important
somewhat important irrelevant
PLEASE BE A PENIS

I'd appreciate any comments or suggestions concerning this page.

For more effective promotional purposes, please indicate how you learned of this site;

link from another site (please specify)
search engine
newsgroup posting (please specify)
magazine article (please specify)
word of mouth
other (please specify)

Please note that your response to this questionnaire will be sent by -mail. However, all information transmitted, including your -mail address, will be kept in the strictest of confidence.

Whew! Congratulations - you've survived "The Definitive Penis Size Survey". One hundred thousand thank yous! Remember to consult the results section to see how you measure up!

PLEASE HIS PENIS

MEASUREMENT VERIFICATION PROJECT

In an attempt to determine the accuracy of data submitted thus far, a "Measurement Verification Project" (MVP) is being undertaken. If you have the means to take an erect measurement photo of yourself, either digitally or conventionally, and would like to participate, then please consult the MVP Homepage for more information.

SECTION NEEDS YOUR HELP!

If you have an electronic means of photographing yourself and transmitting the image via -mail then I would like to hear from you. Section , introduced last year, is designed to test the accuracy with which men gauge penis size. I require two, original and anonymous photographs depicting the following:

1. one's penis either flaccid (taken "head-on" while standing) or erect (taken in profile perpendicular to the rest of the body while standing) including the area between navel and mid thigh and;

2. a photo similar to the above but with the inclusion of a tape measure placed on the penis clearly indicating its length for verification purposes.

In keeping with the non-pornographic nature of my site, the pictures should appear as clinical as possible (e.g., one's penis should be devoid of any ornamentation). I will also need to know the person's height.

Although it may appear frivolous or even silly, this section will constitute an important part of the questionnaire as it will shed some light on male penile perception, a topic about which very little is known.

DESCRIBER IMAGE
Richard Edwards
dickie@connection.com
Revised March 10, 2001

URL: http://www.sizesurvey.com/quest.html

Copyright © 1996-2001, The Definitive Penis Size Survey

 

THE DEFINITIVE PENIS SIZE SURVEY For millennium, men the world over have been obsessed with penis size. Sly jokes, furtive glances in the locker room and wildly exaggerated claims of endowment convincingly suggest that "penis envy" is a decidedly male trait. Now, from the hinterland of Canada, a ner ...»See Ya

i don't have the world's largest penis anymore

some grass

jfk jammies

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Doug Maet all this shit is really just good bank for tomorrow. don't feel awkward tonight!
17 minutes ago ·
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  • Doug Maet drinking tea from my pentobarbital pharm-promo mug
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  • Doug Maet i've got tippit socks. beat that!
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  • Doug Maet the best are my jack ruby sheet set with fake cigar burns and yellowy urine stain-colored pillow cases that say 'i shot oswald' though
    5 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
  • Doug Maet you didn't get the umbrella man umbrella did you. steep!!!
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  • Randall Kitty Davis Jim Garrison Cat Litter....... it spreads real well, and is full of shit.
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  • Doug Maet you know i'm gonna brag on my Ferrie Terri Cloth robe then!
    2 minutes ago · LikeUnlike · 1 personRandall Kitty Davis likes this.
  • Remove Post Doug Maet all this shit is really just good bank for tomorrow. don't feel awkward tonight! 17 minutes ago · Like Unlike · Randall Kitty Davis you must be wearing men's clothes 14 minutes ago · Like Unlike Doug Maet i'm wearing marilyn's favorite outfit 13 minutes ago · Like Unlike Randal ...»See Ya

    ‪el gato habla Español es mas que usualmente desagradable

    Color HEX

    Color Name Color HEX
    AliceBlue #F0F8FF
    AntiqueWhite #FAEBD7
    Aqua #00FFFF
    Aquamarine #7FFFD4
    Azure #F0FFFF
    Beige #F5F5DC
    Bisque #FFE4C4
    Black #000000
    BlanchedAlmond #FFEBCD
    Blue #0000FF
    BlueViolet #8A2BE2
    Brown #A52A2A
    BurlyWood #DEB887
    CadetBlue #5F9EA0
    Chartreuse #7FFF00
    Chocolate #D2691E
    Coral #FF7F50
    CornflowerBlue #6495ED
    Cornsilk #FFF8DC
    Crimson #DC143C
    Cyan #00FFFF
    DarkBlue #00008B
    DarkCyan #008B8B
    DarkGoldenRod #B8860B
    DarkGray #A9A9A9
    DarkGreen #006400
    DarkKhaki #BDB76B
    DarkMagenta #8B008B
    DarkOliveGreen #556B2F
    Darkorange #FF8C00
    DarkOrchid #9932CC
    DarkRed #8B0000
    DarkSalmon #E9967A
    DarkSeaGreen #8FBC8F
    DarkSlateBlue #483D8B
    DarkSlateGray #2F4F4F
    DarkTurquoise #00CED1
    DarkViolet #9400D3
    DeepPink #FF1493
    DeepSkyBlue #00BFFF
    DimGray #696969
    DodgerBlue #1E90FF
    Feldspar #D19275
    FireBrick #B22222
    FloralWhite #FFFAF0
    ForestGreen #228B22
    Fuchsia #FF00FF
    Gainsboro #DCDCDC
    GhostWhite #F8F8FF
    Gold #FFD700
    GoldenRod #DAA520
    Gray #808080
    Green #008000
    GreenYellow #ADFF2F
    HoneyDew #F0FFF0
    HotPink #FF69B4
    IndianRed #CD5C5C
    Indigo #4B0082
    Ivory #FFFFF0
    Khaki #F0E68C
    Lavender #E6E6FA
    LavenderBlush #FFF0F5
    LawnGreen #7CFC00
    LemonChiffon #FFFACD
    LightBlue #ADD8E6
    LightCoral #F08080
    LightCyan #E0FFFF
    LightGoldenRodYellow #FAFAD2
    LightGrey #D3D3D3
    LightGreen #90EE90
    LightPink #FFB6C1
    LightSalmon #FFA07A
    LightSeaGreen #20B2AA
    LightSkyBlue #87CEFA
    LightSlateBlue #8470FF
    LightSlateGray #778899
    LightSteelBlue #B0C4DE
    LightYellow #FFFFE0
    Lime #00FF00
    LimeGreen #32CD32
    Linen #FAF0E6
    Magenta #FF00FF
    Maroon #800000
    MediumAquaMarine #66CDAA
    MediumBlue #0000CD
    MediumOrchid #BA55D3
    MediumPurple #9370D8
    MediumSeaGreen #3CB371
    MediumSlateBlue #7B68EE
    MediumSpringGreen #00FA9A
    MediumTurquoise #48D1CC
    MediumVioletRed #C71585
    MidnightBlue #191970
    MintCream #F5FFFA
    MistyRose #FFE4E1
    Moccasin #FFE4B5
    NavajoWhite #FFDEAD
    Navy #000080
    OldLace #FDF5E6
    Olive #808000
    OliveDrab #6B8E23
    Orange #FFA500
    OrangeRed #FF4500
    Orchid #DA70D6
    PaleGoldenRod #EEE8AA
    PaleGreen #98FB98
    PaleTurquoise #AFEEEE
    PaleVioletRed #D87093
    PapayaWhip #FFEFD5
    PeachPuff #FFDAB9
    Peru #CD853F
    Pink #FFC0CB
    Plum #DDA0DD
    PowderBlue #B0E0E6
    Purple #800080
    Red #FF0000
    RosyBrown #BC8F8F
    RoyalBlue #4169E1
    SaddleBrown #8B4513
    Salmon #FA8072
    SandyBrown #F4A460
    SeaGreen #2E8B57
    SeaShell #FFF5EE
    Sienna #A0522D
    Silver #C0C0C0
    SkyBlue #87CEEB
    SlateBlue #6A5ACD
    SlateGray #708090
    Snow #FFFAFA
    SpringGreen #00FF7F
    SteelBlue #4682B4
    Tan #D2B48C
    Teal #008080
    Thistle #D8BFD8
    Tomato #FF6347
    Turquoise #40E0D0
    Violet #EE82EE
    VioletRed #D02090
    Wheat #F5DEB3
    White #FFFFFF
    WhiteSmoke #F5F5F5
    Yellow #FFFF00
    YellowGreen #9ACD32

    ...»See Ya

    July 28, 2011

    Is it the color of luxury? Black caviar, black pearls, black truffles, black diamonds, black stretch limos, Black Amex

    FASHION’S NIGHT IN

    THREE BEST FRIENDS EXPERIENCE FASHION’S NIGHT OUT ON THEIR OWN TERMS

    Black. Is it the color of luxury? Black caviar, black pearls, black truffles, black diamonds, black stretch limos, Black Amex, Black Label, black Agent Provocateur underwear, Giorgio Armani Crema Nera. The greatest living golfer is black, and I think Leigh Lezark's black hair might just be more elegant than Grace Kelly's strawberry blonde tresses. As I am pondering these things, my BlackBerry starts blinking. A text from Myf Polykrom-Aufrère, she is in her Land Rover, Soho bound, headed my way.

    Pilar, who is sitting across from me, expresses her skepticism about my contemplations by reminding me of the fact that I am wearing a camel turtleneck cardigan, a sand silk-charmeuse camisole and ecru knot-front jersey shorts, all by Alexander Wang, finished off with my beige leather Acne booties with a hickory wood platform. I pretend to be offended that she doesn’t agree with me by making a joke about the hickey she got from this cowboy looking guy at the Standard Hotel the night before. That doesn’t seem to shame her enough, so I ask her how many scabs and blisters she has on her feet from walking around in her cowhide Alaia hiking boots.

    Of course Myf is an hour late and the only sensible way to make time pass in New York is to go on a culinary adventure so we take a cab to Babbo. Pilar orders the piccata al limone. I get the cappellacci with thyme and ricotta and in my boredom ask the waiter if he could serve the fifteen balls of doughy origami in arrangements of six and nine, telling him something about ancient Greek numerology. After yelling and gesturing around for fiveteen minutes he surrenders.

    We realize that Myf might be hungry too, so we prepare for her arrival by separating the two entrées into three portions by any persnickety means necessary. Pilar’s plate, containing only six minuscule piccata, is easily split into three portions of two, but I worry that the waiter might get upset that I wasted his time if I reconfigure my 6-9 arrangement of cappellacci into three sets of five. However, the more immediate issue is that the plate contains four sage leaves.

    Myf arrives and she is wearing a neoprene jacket over a sheer black Givenchy blouse, black satin shorts and some Hermes equestrian boots in the softest creamy caramel leather. Myf would never leave her boyfriend Dakota, but the way she looks I have to flirt with her.

    “Hey priceless masterpiece that should be placed on top of the mantle for everyone to see and appreciate the greatness which is you,” I say before offering her the food that we have arranged on a plate we stole from an empty table because the waiter would not give me a third plate after he saw what I had done to my cappellacci.

    She tells me she can’t eat, her waistline is expanding quicker than Israel’s borders from 1949 to 1967. I tell her that’s not funny, hasn’t she heard what happened to Galliano? She says that she didn’t mean it that way, it’s ok to make tasteless jokes as long as you’re just being ironic. Pilar and I finish our plates and share the plate we had so painstakingly prepared for Myf.

    It’s Fashion’s Night Out and Pilar heard that the Face Hunter will be at Opening Ceremony, so that’s where we’re headed. It’s quite a walk but there are so many wonderful characters walking around the New York streets that we get there before I even know it. But when we arrive I begin to panic. There’s no line to get in, instead there’s just a crowd of people filling up the entire street, all waiting to see the Face Hunter and all the other things Opening Ceremony have prepared. I feel like I’m fated to never get in anywhere, Jack Kerouac always seemed to end up in Denver and I always seem to end up standing in line for boutique parties all night. Everybody seems just as desperate to get in as we are. One guy claims he’s Martin Margiela. Myf explains to me that the joke is that nobody has ever seen Martin Margiela’s face, but Pilar thinks it’s not a great joke either way.

    Just being outside of Opening Ceremony is astonishing. They’ve hired some artisan food trucks and one of them is selling the most wonderful fried chicken and biscuits. I wish I had some truffle butter for the biscuit, but Whole Foods is probably closed by now. The chicken is still perfect though, it has the crispiest crust and it comes with a sauce that words can’t describe. It’s like Heinz ketchup is the Walkman, obsolete next to the iPod Touch that is this sauce. They’ve also decorated the street with some grandiose statues. They’re like Greek statues, but made of papier-mâché. The real Greek statues survived to this day, but these ones have a beautiful ephemerality to them. People say fashion is meaningless but these statues make a bold statement about mortality and they’ve been dressed up in the clothes that Opening Ceremony made for the blockbuster movie Tron Legacy, as well as the three way collaboration bag, a Three as Four x Tron x Opening Ceremony revival of the classic circle bag. Opening Ceremony has also hired somebody to put makeup on the statues. Pilar doesn’t like that because she thinks historical accuracy is important, but Myf disagrees.

    A few people are getting in, yet everyone seems to be standing in place and we aren’t moving forward. Everything has stopped moving, slowed down to a glacial pace, the occasional phone light is blinking but everything else is the same, it’s as if we’re in the cockpit of a Boeing 777 at the cruising altitude of 40,000 feet except we’re not jetsetting anywhere. We’re not getting into Opening Ceremony tonight, I’m sad about missing the Chloe Sevigny exhibit which is accompanied by Charles Wing’s art but we have to make new plans. I overhear someone mentioning a party at the Soho Grand but I doubt I would fit in with the 20 dollars I have in my Bottega Veneta wallet. People with lots of money can gamble and people with little money shouldn’t gamble but I have no money at all so gambling is the only option I have. A house party it is.

    I’m so upset about not getting in that I call my mom, I feel like it’s my fault because after all others were strutting in without even standing in line so I need some questions answered. I ask her if I ever slipped out of her hand as a baby, if she ever dropped me, perhaps on my head. But she has heard that question hundreds of times because I’ve asked her hundreds of times, so often that it has become a lifetime mother-daughter-in-joke, of course I know that she protected me as if I was her own eyeball which she would doubtlessly have stabbed in some ocular equivalent of seppuku had anything ever happened to me.

    We are still a bit upset that Fashion’s Night Out wasn’t what we expected it to be, but we have to make the best of it. We decide to go to Pilar’s friend’s apartment, they didn’t want to come out and I kind of envy their decision. They live on 1st and A, ages away, if a New York minute is a second then we must have walked five New York hours, and my Acne booties are making me regret the joke I made about Pilar’s feet earlier. We buy some dollar slices of pizza on the way and suddenly any pain my feet might be in seems inconsequential.

    We make it to the apartment and Anja, the friend from the previous paragraph, welcomes us. She lives there with her friend Antonella. They have a dog called Fox, who actually kind of looks like a baby fox. They tell me that he’s a real baby fox and not a dog but I’m not sure, someone played the same trick on me once with a dog that looked kind of like a baby polar bear even though he was really a German ice dog. There are a bunch of other people at the apartment and they all tell me that the dog is in fact a baby fox but they might be in on the joke.

    Anja and Antonella both go to Parson’s, and they’re having a Gossip Girl marathon because the next season is starting in a few days and the plotline is so convoluted that they have to watch every episode again. They think Chuck is kind of hot, and although I personally prefer Dan’s witty sarcasm I don’t say anything because of how nice they have been. I also don’t tell them that there’s a flashback of all the relevant parts before each episode because I’m worried that they might get insulted.

    The rest of the night we talk about fashion and their life in New York, I can’t believe all the things they know and all the misconceptions I had about New York and New Yorkers. Before I leave the apartment, they give me some great shopping recommendations and let me take a picture with them to put on Facebook. My Fashion’s Night Out certainly wasn’t what I expected: I didn’t visit any fashion shows and didn’t see any models traipsing around the East Village streets, but I had the best Fashion’s Night In of my life and learned that I sure have some model friends!

     

    FASHION’S NIGHT IN THREE BEST FRIENDS EXPERIENCE FASHION’S NIGHT OUT ON THEIR OWN TERMS Black. Is it the color of luxury? Black caviar, black pearls, black truffles, black diamonds, black stretch limos, Black Amex, Black Label, black Agent Provocateur underwear, Giorgio Armani Crema Nera. The greate ...»See Ya

    3 Sex Pistols Video-FIRSTS

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    Sid and Nancy Visit Mom

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    Sid Vicious Death

     

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